And just because you're my little angel

I'm sorry

Dear baby-girl,

Mommy has been spending the last days stressing out because we need to find you an affordable place where you can be looked out for, while mommy comes to work.

I've cried a lot and my sleeping and eating hasn't been the best. I know you can feel mommy's sadness so I'm very, very sorry.

But it's hard to listen to the people we cared for, not caring about us. And worse, not caring about you.

I feel like I failed somehow already. Since we can't afford certain things, which makes me feel guilty.
But this doesn't make me, or daddy, love you less. Or want you less.
You are very very loved already.
So, I'm sorry for not being able to protect you from my stressing out.

Love,

Mommy

Princess Leia

So, today, while drying my hair I was thinking of introducing you to Star Wars. So that I can mask you as Chewie or Princess Leia. Or my favorite: Padme. 

But for you to enjoy all these masks and things you have to know what Star Wars and all of this fuss is about. So I'm wondering...when is it appropriate to introduce a kid to Star Wars?

I knowww I'll have to wait some time for Lord of The Rings but Star Wars is peeeerfectly innocent. Right?

Love, 

Mom

How the stars got aligned

Dear baby girl,

I can't explain you how I knew, right from the start, that you were a girl. But I just thought that it was sooooo easy for me to find a girls name and soooooo hard to figure out a boys name, that something in the stars had to be aligned.

And they all were, well before you were made.

You see, it was insane how I met your dad. This because I sent one, (ONE!!!) resumé and ended up being hired by aunt Syl and working right across dad's office. And it was also amazing that life brought mom and dad together. He was single, I was not, but became soon enough to want him near me as a friend...and later on boyfriend...husband.

Moving on.

When I though about having babies with your dad, I thought there were two people responsible for me finding him: aunt Syl (because she chose me, just like a Pokemon trainer) and grandma Ana (for giving birth to daddy).
So, when I found out I was pregnant, I asked aunt Syl to be your godmother, which she happily accepted. (I can still remember her screams in the office garden!! And her mini happiness jumps.) And looking back, I still think I chose wisely. After all, if something happened to mommy and daddy, I'm absolutely certain auntie Syl and Cris would take care of you as their own.

Regarding grandma Ana, even before she became a shining star in Heaven, I though about your name being something like hers. Mixing up your Finnish heritage with Ana, resulted in Anna or Hanna or Hannah.

The one we loved the most was Hanna. And there it was, our first babyname.

And, truth be told, our only. Because mommy wouldn't find the creativity to like or think of anything else.

But it wasn't needed. Because with you baby Hanna, all the stars were aligned right from the start.

Love,

Mom

Ain't no Mountain High Enough

Dear baby girl,

Today mommy was choosing which music should be played at mom and dad's wedding. 

And suddenly realized that there are so many great songs I want to show you. Like Marvin Gaye's songs. Or Queen. Or how Pink Floyd changed mommy life!

I'm dying to show you all this amazing songs that colored mom and dads life. And hopefully you'll sing Bohemian Rhapsody faster than Frozen's lyrics. ;)

Love,

Mom 

I say a little prayer

There are going to be a ton of posts just like this one. Of things I'd like to show you or tell you about. Things mommy and daddy like. 

But for today I leave you with Dionne Warwicks song. 

I really like her songs and I've always thought about this song, which is a particular favorite, as something to sing to daddy. But today I was feeling blue since I didn't know when I'd be able to see your "picture" in the ultrasound and heard the song upon arriving to office. 

And suddenly it was all about you. So, I hope that one day you can listen to the song and understand the lyrics. 

Love, 

Mom

https://youtu.be/tLCRUWCETK4